That I am part carny? Probably explains a lot. True story: My wonderful and beautiful grandmother who I love very much, went to the carnival in the country when she was approximately 18. Granny and her friend decided to ride the ferris wheel. While aboard the ferris wheel the young carny operating the ride took a liking to my Granny and decided to give her several free rides. Later he drove Granny and her friend home. A year or two later that carny became my father's father. Making me 1/4 carny.
As if this grandpa, who we will call Carnpa (only appropriate given his carny past), didn't add enough ridiculous to my life just by adding a dash of carny to my blood; The man actually licked my ear once. Yes, you read it right son! My own Carnpa licked the inside of my ear, wax and all. It happened on a Christmas visit to his house. Are you really that surprised that Christmas was involved? Me either. I was 13 years old, tall and skinny with long brown hair. I was sporting my new outfit, and lookin damn good if I do say so myself. No wonder he couldn't resist. I had on bell bottom khakis and a babydoll shirt with a big shroom on the front. As I walked into his house he got up from his rickety old recliner to greet me and my family. He said I looked like Cher in the 60s and 70s with my long hair and retro outfit. Then he leaned in and got himself a good old lick of my ear. I wouldn't say I was molested. I think that's pushing it. Violated for sure. Molested? Not quite. I mean, maybe he just likes the taste of ear wax or we could say he's just old and slightly insane. I'm sure the carnival circuit can really mess a man up. All those long nights operating ferris wheels can drive a person insane, just watching that wheel go around and around all night. He might have even gotten thrown up on a time or two or 12. I mean, besides, if I were asked to point out where he touched me on a doll it would probably be impossible. Most dolls don't even have ears, do they?
Either way you look at it, I'm still part carny with or without the ear lick.
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